03/14/2023

Green Party: Here’s Our Guide to Throwing a St. Patrick’s Day Bash

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With pubs open across the states, massive parties on, and parades being held (including the world’s largest march down Fifth Avenue in New York City), this St. Patrick’s Day feels like it’s going to be another raucous celebration.

But just because it’s going to be easier being green on March 17 this year, doesn’t mean it’s impossible to toast the life of devout snake whisperer St. Patrick, Irish heritage, and Emerald Isle culture at home. You won’t even need the luck of the Irish to put together a fecking good at-home fete.

This guide has got everything you need from where to stock up on Jameson and Guinness, to themed meal delivery, and what to wear to avoid getting pinched.

Step 1: Stock The Liquor Cabinet

Some holidays are about gifts; others gratitude. Some pay tribute or celebrate a particular faith. St. Patrick’s Day, like Drinko de Mayo, is, if we’re all truly being honest, now mostly about getting turnt with tipple. If you need further proof, consider this stat from USA Today: Americans typically guzzle 600,000 pints of Dublin-brewed Guinness a day, but that number jumps to three million on March 17. If you don’t yet feel comfortable bellying up to a bar, luckily, we are living in the golden age of alcohol delivery and spirits subscriptions.

1. Flaviar

Members-only spirits club Flaviar knows it sucks to sláinte alone. Flaviar is runs a special section on their site leading up to the holiday that has options to add Irish whiskey bottles like Bushmills, Jameson, Powers and more to the pot-o-liquid-gold that already contains a quarterly tasting box. You’ll also get access to rare spirits and free shipping, and private events like blendings, screenings, and webinars with experts. Some such members-only meet-up—like guided virtual whiskey tastings—gives the uninitiated another reason to enroll.

Courtesy of Flaviar

Buy Flaviar St. Patrick’s Day $300

2. Drizly

Jameson, The Whistler, Hell-Cat Maggie, The Busker, Redbreast, Michael Collins, The Dead Rabbit, The Fighting 69th, Jack Ryan, Paddy, Midleton Barry Crockett, and The Irishman— it sounds like the world’s most interesting guest list, but it’s actually just a few of the 217-bottle deep inventory of made-in-Ireland whiskey carried and delivered by Drizly to thirsty customers in 1,400 cities across the U.S. and Canada. By partnering with local retailers, North America’s largest online alcohol marketplace can get a bottle of Knappogue Castle 12 Year or an Irish Pub Pack—plus bitters, juice, ice, and more—to your house in under 60 minutes.

Editor’s picks

Buy Drizly Whiskey Delivery

3. Saucey

Halving the delivery time, Saucey drops beer, wine, and hard liquor on doorsteps in 22 cities including Los Angeles, Miami, Austin, San Francisco, Seattle, DC, and Chicago. They also stock mixers, bags of ice, cigarettes, candy, hangover recovery products, and single lemons and limes. Two-day and ground shipping can get five types of Guinness anywhere in California and New York but that clearly requires pre-gaming. Right now you can also choose from a St. Paddy’s collection, including the
“St. Patty Can Really Shake It” drink kit which has everything you need to make a special themed cocktail with Bailey’s, Guinness, and mint chocolate chip ice cream.

Buy Saucey Alcohol Delivery

4. Instacart

Or simply add your list of libations to that week’s Instacart grocery order. The service sources alcohol from Costco, Publix, Wegmans, ALDI, BevMo!, and Total Wine & More in 24 states including Nebraska, Tennessee, New York, Oregon, and Arizona, and guarantees you will be swigging in two hours or less.

Step 2: Plan All-Day Provisions

Second only to the drinking, St. Pat’s is also about feasting on authentic Irish delicacies like corned beef and hearty stews, stuff made with Irish ingredients like Guinness-filled Bundt cakes, and anything you can dye green.

1. Goldbelly

Breakfast is the most important meal of the day and you’ll need your strength to last late into the night so start with carbs from New York’s Baz Bagel. The Lower East Side shop’s famous rainbow bagels have gone green for March. Why not send a few to the cubicle mate you haven’t seen in a year or to your underlings for the morning meeting? Your mea culpa for scheduling a Zoom on a holiday, or worse the morning after, should include sides of lox and cream cheese.

Buy Green Bagels $85.95

When it comes to the main event, corned beef and cabbage is the reigning king of March 17. In your search for salt-cured scrumptiousness, Goldbelly should be your first stop as it aggregates dishes from restaurants and chefs from across America on one delivery central site, including the warm up-and-eat St. Patrick’s Day meal (corned beef, cabbage, boiled potatoes, a loaf of Irish soda bread, sour pickles, and mustard) from Lido Kosher Deli in Long Island.

On the other coast, Langer’s Deli, a Los Angeles institution, has got lunch covered with its sandwich kit. It includes rye bread, corned beef, and bonus pastrami. If you prefer to get your hands dirty, order prepped but uncooked grade-A brisket from Snake River Farms, an Idaho outfit that keeps the nation’s finest chefs flush with American wagyu and Berkshire hogs.

Buy Lido Kosher Deli Corned Beef Meal $169.95

Buy Langer’s Pastrami & Corned Beef… $149.95

Buy American Wagyu Corned Beef Brisket $105.95

Don’t forget to close down this day of decadence with dessert. You can find themed treats of all types from boozy ice cream to boozy chocolates and boozy cakes, which all go great with an Irish coffee (ReserveBar has some great recipes) or a Baileys-spiked hot chocolate. (We warned you at the top what this holiday was all about.) There’s also sugar without spirits if you’re oversaturated by this point. James Beard Award and Top Chef winner Stephanie Izard’s Chicago concept is Sugargoat, a bakery that turns out many unique sweets including a cake inspired by Lucky Charms.

Buy Sugargoat Lucky Cereal Cake $99

This Irish cream cheesecake is a godsend, literally, as it is baked by the Nuns of New Skete Monastery daily between prayers. This is what we like to call a tasty twofer: support the church St. Patrick served and sate a craving.

Buy Nuns of New Skete Irish Cream Cheesecake $69.95

Virginia’s Red Truck Bakery whips up a chocolate ring cake infused with Guinness Stout and smothered in Baileys frosting.

Buy Guinness Stout Irish Chocolate Cake $36

2. igourmet

Irish cuisine and pandemic trends collide at igourmet where you can secure the fixings for a wicked good cheese board. There are several a la carte picks and tasting sets as well as crackers, Irish butter, Folláin jam, and Filligans mustard. However you handle your dairy rations, make sure it includes an allotment of rich Cashel Blue. If you are looking for a festive cheese and aren’t concerned about its origins, grab some green pesto gouda.

Buy igourmet Irish Cheese Sets $12-$90

Bust open a box of Pennsylvania-made cinnamon-coconut cream “potato” poppers that were made to honor the victims of Ireland’s great potato famine and are popular at the feast of St. Patrick parties on the East Coast.

Buy Oh Ryan’s Irish Potatoes $8.99

3. Omaha Steaks

Omaha Steaks also puts platefuls on porches with the push of a button. Choose between hunks of beef, spiced and ready to cook low and slow, sides like brussels sprouts with bacon, root vegetable gratin, or fluffy smashed potatoes, or complete suppers like the Classic Corned Beef Dinner or the slow cooker meal, which both include mini baguettes and dessert. If you do enough damage, shipping is free and they’ll throw in some steak burgers.

Buy Omaha Steaks St. Patrick’s Meat, Sides… $20-$120

4. Unreal Deli

You can still cram in the customary corned beef even if you’re a carnivore no more. Plant-based powerhouse—a Shark Tank alum and Mark Cuban favorite—Unreal Deli has created a thin-sliced plant-based version of the cold cuts that can be used in sammies or scrambles. High in protein and low in fat, the faux meat comes in one to 10-pound packages.

Buy Unreal Deli Corn’d Beef $6.59

5. 1-800-BASKETS.com

Get a dozen cupcakes in flavors like chocolate mint crunch, peanut butter chocolate chip, and salted caramel topped with symbolic fondant coins, rainbows, and shamrocks from sister-started chain Georgetown Cupcake.

Buy Georgetown Cupcake St. Patrick’s Day… $69.99

Step 3: Don’t Forget To Wear Green

1. Old Navy

If you do, there will be consequences. The lore states that green makes you invisible to naughty leprechauns with a penchant for pinching. (Fun fact: Back in the day, blue was actually the color associated with the day’s namesake saint. Guess marketing got a hold of it.) Old Navy’s got inexpensive St Patrick’s-themed threads in the form of graphic tees, matching PJ sets, boxers, and socks.

Buy Old Navy St. Patrick’s Day… $4-$25

2. Sea Bags

Made in Maine, Sea Bags repurposes old boat sails into nautical carryalls and home décor. Given New England is chock full of Irish Catholics, St. Patrick’s Day is important to them and thus they’ve made an entire line embellished with kelly green and white shamrock prints. The bags come in a variety of sizes and styles from petite coin purses and wristlets to bucket bags and beach totes. There’s even a wine bag that can be repurposed to haul and hide skinny whiskey bottles.

Buy St. Patrick’s Day Sea Bags $15-$160

3. MeUndies

The oldest trick in the playground book was to wear green where no one could see it so that if they dared come at you, you could flash the top of your underwear and retaliate times 10 for their mistaken pinch. And while the ulterior motives have likely changed for throwing some green under your jeans, it’s still fun to shamrock shake your tailfeather in special skivvies.

MeUndies’ Best Of Luck collection covers you from head to toe with a wide range of delicates and loungewear for men and women including thongs, bralettes, boxer briefs, pants, tanks, socks, and hooded onesies. They’ve also printed up other essentials in the same fabric including face masks, neck gaiters, and a dog hoodie.

Buy MeUndies Best Of Luck Collection $24-$78

Buy MeUndies Best Of Luck Face Mask Pair $16

Step 4: Turn Up The Tunes

Ireland is a land of storytellers and one of their favorite mediums is music. Create a lively atmosphere by spinning songs by Irish artists and bands like Enya, Van Morrison, The Dubliners, The Irish Rovers, U2, and The Chieftains or folk jams full of Celtic harp and fiddle. You’ll be a lord of the dance in no time.

March is also Women’s History Month and as it really isn’t St. Patrick’s Day without hearing “Danny Boy” on repeat, invest in a collection of Celtic lady balladeers with that audio gem on it to kill two birds with one Amazon order. Or keep the sea shanty revival from a couple of weeks ago going.

Buy The Essential Chieftains

Buy Irish Pirate Ballads and Other Songs Of… $16.35

Buy Essential Celtic Woman: The Irish… $14.86

Buy Best Irish Pub Songs $5.99

Step 5: Plant One On Someone Special

Treat yourself or someone you love with a green gift. Although shamrocks are the universally accepted and inviolable symbol of Ireland and S.P.D., they don’t technically, at least not as far as scientific nomenclature is concerned, exist. They’re more of a 17th-century mythical construct imbuing any three-leafed trefoil with national pride and a four-leafed clover with luck. Because you can’t call up a florist and request the shamrock special, try these options from 1-800-Flowers.com instead.

Buy Irish Blessings Bouquet $69.99

Buy St. Patrick’s Day Flower Basket $49.99

Green Party: Here’s Our Guide to Throwing a St. Patrick’s Day Bash