“I’ll just be honest and say I’ve waited so long to be free from the situation I’m in … and now that it’s here I’m scared to do anything because I’m afraid I’ll make a mistake!!!,” she wrote. “For so many years I was always told if I succeeded at things, it could end … and it never did !!! I worked so hard but now that it’s here and getting closer and closer to ending I’m very happy but there’s a lot of things that scare me!!!”
The singer went on to chastise the paparazzi that “run through the trees and onto the road” and wrote that she’s “fearful of doing something wrong.”
Last month, a judge suspended Spears’ dad Jamie from his role as conservator of her $60 million estate, essentially paving the way for a final resolution that would allow the singer to control both her finances and life decisions. “I believe that the suspension of [James Spears] is in the best interest of the conservatee, Ms. Britney Spears,” Judge Brenda Penny said. “The current situation is untenable.”
Spears claimed the conservatorship granted in 2008 amid concerns over her mental health and possible substance abuse forced her to work against her will, compelled her to take powerful drugs that left her feeling “drunk,” cut her off from friends and led her to believe she couldn’t remove an IUD to try for another child.
“I haven’t done anything to be treated the way I have for the past 13 years!!! I’m disgusted with the system and wish I lived in another country!!!,” Spears wrote. “Lord have mercy on my family’s souls if I ever do an interview!!! In the meantime … I’m staying clear of the business which is all I’ve ever known my whole life … which is why this is so very confusing for me!!!”
The next hearing is set for November 12th, where the full termination of the conservatorship will be considered. Spears’ lawyer Mathew Rosengart, tells Rolling Stone that the “hope and expectation” is that the conservatorship will be terminated on that date with no order for any further mental evaluation.