So Sick Edits

BREAKING! GWAR Says Dave Grohl Made the ‘Wrong Choice’ Not Joining the Band

Dave Grohl revealed in his Rolling Stone cover-story interviews that when he was a much-in-demand teenage drumming prodigy in the Washington, D.C., suburbs, he came close to joining elaborately costumed metal legends GWAR as their drummer — and even starting designing a costume for himself.

Now, Mike Bishop, the band’s former bassist and current lead singer, confirms the story. “Our guitar player Dewey [a.k.a. Flattus Maximus] was booking shows in Richmond at the time,” Bishop says in an e-mail. “And we had all seen Dave play with his bands Dain Bramage and later on in Scream. He was already one of the greatest, hardest-hitting drummers I had ever seen. He still is. Dewey called and started the conversation with him about joining GWAR.”

“I was stoked,” Bishop adds, “because I played bass at the time, and I would have loved to jam with him. Just think, he could have been working his ass off playing drums in a rubber monster suit all these years. Boy, did he make the wrong choice.”


However, Bishop’s monstrous alter ego in the band, the Berserker Blothar, offers a different (and, needless to say, wildly fictional) take on the situation: “Grohl remembers this all wrong,” The Berserker Blothar writes. “He used to hang around the track with all the other young punks jacked on gak. This is back before he lost all his teeth. We hired him and then called him back immediately and fired him. He was in the band for around seven and a half minutes. He was holding us back.”