Classic Hate: The Internet Hates on Nas’ ‘Illmatic’ Article

Hip-hop heads don't agree on much... at all... ever. I could tell a hip-hop nerd the sky is blue and they would come up with a 10-page essay about how it is red. There is one thing, however, which all hip-hop heads regard as a universal truth—Nas' Illmatic is one the greatest, if not the greatest, hip-hop albums ever made. Personally, it's not my absolute favorite album, but there is no denying its depth, quality and the overall impact it has had on hip-hop history.

It might be hard to believe, but it has now been 23 years since Nas unleashed the beast on us and what better way to celebrate than by heading to Amazon's customer reviews for Illmatic and publicly mocking the people who publicly mocked the album?

It's time for Classic Hate: The Illmatic Edition.

This nut job wrote a whole god damn doctorate thesis and still got it all wrong. Did Nas take his girlfriend? Light some poop on fire and leave it on his porch? Dude is taking a whole career, making these wildly inaccurate claims on a singular album review. "There was once a time in the rap game where corny has-been rappers would not be heard from again." I can (sort ) agree with that. The only problem is that the time was the '90s... when fucking Illmatic dropped; this guy needs a hip-hop timeline ASAP. This man could have written the most well-thought out, logical argument (with photographic evidence) and it would have been refuted by his last claim... you know... the one where he compares Michael Jordan to LL Cool J. Yes, LL fucking Cool J. Your argument is now invalid (although, really, it already was).

Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you to the first and only person to say they hate old "skool" hip-hop. 

So, this guy's argument is if it's old, it's not as good; the complete opposite the real world. I almost respect it, people go apeshit over old, nostalgic things, but this guy is all about the future. You know what makes Illmatic a classic? The fact that everyone can still appreciate it. I knew nothing about hip-hop when I first heard the album, but even a 13-year-old me knew it was good. I'm not 40, and I sincerely doubt many you are, and yet we all appreciate Illmatic; that is what makes it a classic. I'm not even going to respond to the last thing he wrote because he has to be trolling (at least that's what I'm telling myself).

Different classic hate, same shit. Why do the people on one coast feel the need to let everyone know that rappers from the other coast aren't as good? Also, what did Nas steal from Tupac? They are two the most recognizable names in hip-hop history and they sound nothing alike. In fact, I don't think I have ever heard Nas over West Coast production. Sick burn at the end, too. Nas is gonna be up late thinking about that one. Oh, and he falls victim to another hate pitfall, the hip-hop "stealing" accusation. Stealing, better known as sampling, is the coolest thing about hip-hop. The fact you can take a small part a song and transform it into a completely different song blows my fucking mind; it most definitely isn't stealing. Also, preeeettyyyy sure Nas never sampled Cream's "Sunshine Of Your Love" so there's that.

This is perhaps the most baffling piece classic hate I have come across. Normally, it's clear that people are idiots and know nothing about anything. Well, this guy drops Pharoahe Monch's name and mentions Liquid Swords so he or she must have some idea what hip-hop is about. Normally they recommend the new Nicki Minaj album or the One Direction/Miley Christmas CD, but this dude has some taste. I'm pretty confused here. We are reaching uncharted waters in the sea classic hate. You know what, though? This may make me hate him more. The other haters don't know any better, but clearly, this person does. I'm almost more disappointed in him than that guy who hates old "skool" hip-hop.

First and foremost, that's not even a sentence. Second, who cares if an album is only 10 songs; quality over quantity. I guess this guy would rather listen to an E-40 triple-disc with 48 songs. There may only be ten, but each song is essentially worth ten more songs; "The World Is Yours" alone is more valuable than most albums anyway; put that song on an album 12 times in a row and I'll buy it.

At this point, I'm not even surprised anymore. I should be shocked that the internet is teeming with hate for arguably the best hip-hop album ever, but at this point, nothing on the interwebz shocks me anymore. It's only taken a year and a half, but the internet and unwarranted, blasphemous hate have already turned me into a jaded, pessimistic shell my once youthful self. Oh well, at least I still have Illmatic.

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